Rough Days..?

Ever have those reaaalllyyy bad days where nothing seems to be going right, and you keep praying to god asking "WHY ME?!" I know there is a reason for everything but god can you please show me now instead of waiting days/months/years... Fighting and realizing alcohol makes relationships go south, realizing your NOT as pretty as the girls on the Internet, or finally having it set in that i will NEVER see my grandma alive because shes in a coma in Maryland :(

I'm not as pretty as these girls...

 I don't have a perfect face or makeup...

 Perfect hair? FAR from it..

 Do i seriously need to dress like a slut to make me feel better?

 The only way to get a flat stomach like this for me is to stop eating. completely.

....

I miss my grandma :(

<3

I miss having a good relationship with my boyfriend.

God made me perfect? But somehow my feelings about myself over weigh his.. and I'm not sure how to change that.