Grandma Irene...

I knew my grandma wasn't doing very well (she was 94) and that her days were numbered. I got a call from my grandpa saying that grandma Irene was in a coma. I took it really hard knowing how close i was to my family down in Baltimore and her of course. I cried all day Saturday knowing that she wasn't going to make it. I didn't even color Easter eggs :( My dad kept saying "maybe she'll come out of it". But i knew the truth..

Sunday morning i was getting ready for church when my parents called my into the computer room and told me grandma Irene had passed away. I was furious with god like REALLY GOD you couldn't have waited one day. I was so mad, but my mom kept telling me "how special is it that she gets to go to heaven they same day we celebrate Jesus going to heaven." i thought about it and realized god knows best, and god is good and FAITHFUL! He knew exactly what he was doing, taking her out of her misery not knowing who she was, where she was, or who her family was. I guess i was just being selfish :( But tomorrow I'm flying down to Baltimore with my dad to spend time with my family and talk about how amazing, funny, caring, and god like she really was!

She's in heaven with her husband, her children, family, and now knows who she is & I'm so blessed she was in my life and that i have another angel watching over me  :)

Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.”

Isaiah 57:2 “Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death.”

{June 2011} The last time i saw her <3



Rough Days..?

Ever have those reaaalllyyy bad days where nothing seems to be going right, and you keep praying to god asking "WHY ME?!" I know there is a reason for everything but god can you please show me now instead of waiting days/months/years... Fighting and realizing alcohol makes relationships go south, realizing your NOT as pretty as the girls on the Internet, or finally having it set in that i will NEVER see my grandma alive because shes in a coma in Maryland :(

I'm not as pretty as these girls...

 I don't have a perfect face or makeup...

 Perfect hair? FAR from it..

 Do i seriously need to dress like a slut to make me feel better?

 The only way to get a flat stomach like this for me is to stop eating. completely.

....

I miss my grandma :(

<3

I miss having a good relationship with my boyfriend.

God made me perfect? But somehow my feelings about myself over weigh his.. and I'm not sure how to change that.